PEACE OF MIND

I've not written to you, oh my blog, in quite some time.

This weekend, I've been convalescing from a cold and have somehow avoided getting a stomach virus which seems to be all around me. I slept a lot yesterday, which I indeed have to be sick in order to do. Overall, my body is better but somehow I feel like I'm unbalanced. Maybe it was the sleeping a lot... I'm in one of those "how am I going to get through this school and career thing and not feel like an imposter" moods, most certainly. Humility, I realize, is the integral state needed for spiritual progression, but I'm falling back into low self-esteem-type stuff, which, because the focus is on myself, is just as bad as being egotistical. At least I'm realizing this and processing it, I guess.

Again, too much thought...

Great Spirit, guide my way...

me and my scleral hematoma

I'm just now getting over what I think was a sinus infection. The walk-in clinic doc didn't really ever tell me what my formal diagnosis was, and I didn't ask him. He just gave me some antibiotics. Anyway, I think I coughed or sneezed so hard that I blew a blood vessel in my eye!


Creepy, eh?

The technical term for this, I think, is scleral hematoma. My mom, especially, was all worried about this, but I assured her that I had consulted with some of the nursing staff where I work and that they had told me it was nothing serious.

Writing just to write

Last night, drugged as I was on Ny-Quil and Trazadone (I'm convalescing from a sinus infection), I dreamed that I was climbing a light sandy brown cliff's edge and came across a rattlesnake on one of the ledges. It was right near my foot moving its diamond head back and forth, and I was thinking to myself "Shit! I hope it doesn't bite me!" That's about all I remember. I just recall the awkwardness of having to stay clinging to the cliff's edge and trying to dodge the snake at the same time.

Two primary goals I have for myself (which are more like hazy dreams at this point rather than goals) are to 1) take martial arts lessons and 2) take heavy metal guitar lessons. Two beautiful things which I would find a great solace in. I find many excuses why I shouldn't do them now, such as focusing my efforts to finish my degree, but really that wouldn't take too much of my time. I should just do it, shouldn't I?